Punishment or Pleasure

S#*t happens. Ask Anne Boleyn, the Queen, Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, Oprah Winfrey or the Dalai Lama

No one and that includes Polly Perfect, Beautiful Belle or Lucky Larry has a great day every day.

We all screw up the presentation, the exam, the dinner, the speech, the entrance, the surprise, the gift, the trip.

We rip our clothes. We trip over the kerb, our words. We stub our toes, and scratch our scabs. We drink too much coffee, alcohol, green juice. We drool and spit, We crash or scrape the car.

One day I left the doctor’s surgery when she flippantly told me I was allergic to my environment as though this was a point of great curiosity worthy of further investigation in her laboratory petrie dish before sending me straight back out in that world she suggested was rubbing me the wrong way. I was so distracted by her information and as much her delivery of the same.

I got in my car indicated and pulled out behind a bus and didn’t see the ute that was changing lanes. Oops! metal meets metal in that screeching chalkboard way.

Sometimes we can laugh at ourselves straightaway. More times we dive deep into dastardly negative talk. We call ourselves hellish names. Useless, careless, stupid, ugly, lazy, pathetic (or maybe that’s just me:-)We show no compassion, kindness, love, empathy or sympathy. We unleash our most awful selves on ourselves. Click To Tweet

We go dark and we drive hard.

If you saw a stranger talking to someone like that you would be compelled to interfere, to protect the victim they were assailing so cruelly. You would feel the need to step in to arrest this violent communication.

This self talk makes us feel even worse, but there is a payoff. Yuu validate all the bad things parents, friends, teachers ever said.

You make them right. Again.

You get to stay small. Give responsibility and control to others. You get to remain in the box you’ve been trying to get out of. You get to stay comfortable. You still fit in but you have shrink to do it.

Or you can ask yourself these 3 questions and turn your day, identity and maybe life around.

Is this true, factually and concretely true? Or do you just believe it to be true, because your mind tells you so.

How do you feel when this is true? Notice it in your body; how and where do you feel it? What other thoughts does it bring up?

Now imagine it wasn’t true. Who would you be then? How would your life be different? What would open up for you? What is now possible? This is the basis of the work of Byron Katie who turned her life around (and it was pretty messy) when she realised suffering is optional and most often self inflicted. So look at your most awful ‘truths’ Ask these questions then imagine the opposite. How cool would that be?

Imagine if it all was in your head. Imagine if you could fill it with different stuff. Good stuff and fun stuff. Imagine how that would change your life, your actions and your feelings. Imagine what impact you being different would have on everyone around you.

If you believed you could design your life. What would you create?

Suspend reality just for a moment. What story are you telling yourself now. What actions is that story inspiring. I’d love to know. Please let me know in the comments And please share this if you happen to know anyone who’s stuck or unhappy in your world.

Remember we are all in this together. I am clear on what kind of world I want to live in And you?

Until next time. Be true to you.

x

eilish

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Copyright 2020 Eilish Bouchier | All Rights Reserved

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